Unbreak My Heart
by Ninnaras
Summary: Tristan takes some time away from battle to remember what was taken from him, to remember her. All Tristan angst lovers out there, this is for you


Disclaimer: I don't own King Arthur, If I had you can guess who wouldn't have died.

Reviews: Yes Please!

**Unbreak My Heart**

I glory in it. I live for the fight, I need the heat of battle. It is the only thing that makes me feel alive, truly alive, alive as I have never felt since _her._

I smirk slightly as a burly woad man rushes at me, screaming curses in his lanuage, his eyes bloodshot and wild. He is either very brave, or very foolish. Allowing him to come within striking distance of me, I use his own momentem against him and step to the side, neatly decapitating him in the process. Glancing round I do a quick check on my brothers, contrary to popular belief I do care for them, they are all I have left. Seeing them all able bodied and whole I glanced round to pick out my next victim. My search is cut short when two women offer themselves up like lambs to the slaughter, obviously deciding that two swords are better than one the run at me in the same instant, bringing my sword up to parry a blow from the first woman I step forward quickly forcing her to lose her balance and finish her life with a slash to the throat. Spinning around I send her companion to join her with a deep thrust across her abdomen.

I inhale shallowly, feeling the bloodlust rise in my veins like a flood. The next three Woads were quickly dispatched and looking round I saw the battle was almost won, the last few Woads being executed by Lancelot and Gawain. As I gaze across the battlefield I feel the sudden need to be alone with my thoughts, my memories, spotting Arthur walking a little ways from me I stride over to him.

"I'm going scouting," I informed him dispassionatly.

He looked at me reluctantly but nodded his his head all the same, " Be back for nightfall, we move out as soon as we have cleared the bodies" he said.

I incline my head and move to turn away when his voice stops me, "Tristan, be careful," came the compassionate voice. I resume my walk towards the edge of the clearing where we had left our horses. Reaching Morgan I stroke her black cheek gently as she sniffs the blood that covers me from head to toe. "Fancy doing some scouting huh," I murmer gently swinging up onto her back and urging her into the forest.

I rode for about an hour or so enjoying the sounds of nature all about me, I sensed no danger, my keen ears and eyes picking up no threats. Birds sung in the trees and the wind was whispering sweet lullabies. My attention was drawn to the soft sound of running water nearby, directing Morgan through some greenery I come upon a small lake enclosed by flowering trees. My breath almost stops for a minute, _she_ would have loved it here, just as she had loved our lake back on the wild dusty plains of Sarmatia. Deciding this would be a good place to stop for a while I dismount and gently remove Morgan's tack, she will come back when I call her.

Walking across the soft grass I seat myself on the beside the water, gazing on the smooth surface of the water I remember the last time we sat beside our lake.

_Unbreak my heart  
say you love me again  
undo this hurt you caused  
when you walked out the door  
and walked outta my life  
uncry these tears  
I cried so many nights  
unbreak my heart (my heart)_

00000Flashback00000

I lay on my back with my eyes closed simply enjoying the silence of the night and the feeling of her running her fingers through me hair.

" Will you miss me?" she asked suddenly moving to sit at my side.

"What?" I queried, I already knew what she was talking about, the Romans had beem spotted by one of our hunting parties, they would be here in a few days. Gazing into those piercing green eyes I felt my heart break in two, knowing I would have to leave her was killing me.

She flipped herself so that she was lying atop me, she traced my tattoos with her fingers as I mirrored the action on her tattoos, it was our tradition. Leaning down she started to place tiny kisses along my jaw as I gasped gently. "I said, will you miss me, when you are away." she repeated.

"Aye, by the gods I will miss you every minute," I choked out, kissing the tears that slipped from her emerald eyes, " Fear not my Morrigan, we will be together, in this life or the next."

I felt her smile against my neck and moved so that I could kiss her, Plundering her mouth I allowed her to feel all that I could not say through our kiss, she returned it with equal desperation, her dark hair fell about us like a veil and for this moment we could block out the world and focus soley on each other.

00000End Flashback00000

I sighed gently, I missed her, only in these rare moments when I was alone could I remember in peace. My Morrigan, with her long black hair and emerald eyes, she had fasinated me like no other, she was considered of average looks by the people of our tribe but to me, to me she was the most beautiful creature ever to grace the face of the earth and she was mine, she had chosen me, my woman, my Morrigan. She had been well named, earning her tattoos when she was seven by killing one of the raiders that had so often attacked our camp. Our time together felt so short, I grit my teeth together angrily, it is the Romans' fault, they are all the most evil scum to pollute the earth and then they had the audacity to call us barbarians.

I stare into the water blankly, before pulling a small silver bracelet from my greaves, it is the only thing I have left of her.

_Take back the sad word good bye  
bring me the joy to my life  
Don´t leave me here with these tears  
come and kiss this pain away _

00000Flashback000000

I walked with her back to her family tent, our pace as slow as possible, wishing to savour every last moment together. Finally we reached it and I turned to face her, drowing in those loving eyes I pulled her tight to me and buried my face into her hair inhaling her scent of fresh air and flowers deeply. Tracing her spine with my hands I felt her cling to me just as tightly, as we drew back we just stared at each other, each trying to memorise the other's features.

Reaching down she unclasped the bracelet that has always resided on her wrist and presses it into my hand. Placing a finger over my lips she speaks so softly I can barely hear her, "Keep it, it will protect you."

Pressing her lips against mine lightly she embraces me once again and whispers in my ear, " Goodbye my Tristan, goodbye my love." Turning quickly on her heel she all but flees through the flap into her tent as I stand helplessly, trying to hold back the tears the fill my eyes.

00000End Flashback00000

I look at my reflection in the water, I look old and weary, bloodied and tangled. So engrossed in my memories I did not notice when the weather darkend and a light rain came on. Lifting my face I allowed the water to run rivers down my face, allow it to clean the stains that are cover my face, but however much I wish it the stains etched into my soul can never be washed away. The memory of when the Romans arrived is the worst of my life.

_I can´t forget the day you left  
time is so unkind  
and life is so cruel  
without you beside me_

00000Flashback00000

Swiftly gutting one Roman I looked about in panic, where was she? I had already found the charred bodies of my mother and father and now I desperatly searched for the one who was more precious to me than life, my heart stopped beating as I found what I was searching for. I dropped my sword numbly and broke into a sprint falling to my knees in the mud as I cradled her lifeless body to mine, trying to will life back into those empty eyes. A large gash marred her delicate throat and my world stopped in that instant, nothing mattered anymore, she was dead, never again would I feel her lips against mine, never again would I see her smile or laugh, never again would I hold her against me or dance with her in the rain. For the first and last time in my life I allowed hot tears to spill from my eyes as I pressed my cheek against hers and sobbed in despair, never had I felt such pain.. I barely registered the approach of one of the Romans, I would gladly die if it would take me to her faster. I fought like a man possesed as I was ripped from her and placed kicking and yelling onto the back of a horse.

It was in that moment I decided the Roamns would get what they wanted, I would be a killing machine, I would fight in their battles and kill their enemies, but every death would be for her and the life that was ripped from me, every battle I would fight for her and for all who had been taken from me. I would become a cold emotionless wraith, I had no will to love someone again for fear they would be torn from me.

00000End Flashback00000

_Don´t leave me in all this pain  
don´t leave me out in the rain  
come back and bring back my smile  
come and take these tears away  
I need your arms  
to hold me now  
the nights are so unkind  
bring back those nights  
when I held you beside me_

I brought the bracelet to my lips and pressed a kiss to it, "I love you," I said softly into the air.

Darkness was falling softly around the lake and I whistled for Morgan to come back, placing her tack back on I breathed in the night air like I had breathed in her scent all those years ago. Mounting up I reached the clearing just as the knights were preparing for the short trip back to the wall. Nodding my head at Arthur to show I had found nothing I fell in beside Bors and Dagonet.

"Where have you been scout?" Bors voice boomed out into the air.

Cocking my head to one side I said non-commitedly, "Scouting"

This resulted in bursts of laughter from the rest of the knights as we followed the road to the wall. Back to the wall, and to my dreams. I smile secretly to myself, in my sleep I will be reunited with her and we will visit our lake,in my dreams I will be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her until the dawn.

_Unbreak my heart Oh Baby  
come back and say you love me  
unbreak my heart sweet darling  
without you I just can´t go on _


End file.
